Vs Series
by EvilGnomes
Summary: A series of short skits, crossovers and other random situations where your favourite Labyrinth characters go head to head in wit, arguments or just plain fights. Be warned as this will contain randomness and nonsense. You have been warned
1. Sarah vs Owl Jareth

**The result of serious boredness, being stared at by my dog for hours and watching the Labyrinth _far_ too many times. If that's even possible.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Jim Henson's "Labyrinth" or a Barn owl**

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One thing Sarah prided herself in was the fact that "Puppy Dog Eyes" didn't work on her. Even Toby quickly learned to keep that special act to his mum and dad.

Owl eyes on the other hand, were another matter entirely.

At least, to Sarah they were.

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When Jareth first started making his presence known, by sitting on the branch outside Sarah's widow, she had to admit he had scared the living daylights out of her on several occasions. A fact she was convinced he found hilarious.

Though after two months of him arriving every second Friday at 8pm she finally got used to his presence. As she saw it, he could either come as Owl Jareth or 'Human' Jareth and she preferred the owl.

What Sarah didn't know was that Jareth had a plan, a cunning one at that, even though it was so incredibly simple even one of his Goblins could have come up with it. Well, it would have been simple if the weather complied.

It was summer in the Aboveground so it was sunny every time he sat outside her window, and rain wasn't common here. But this Friday the weather was finally on his side.

Torrential rain hammered against the house as the storm outside grew worse. It was Friday night and as usual Sarah was in, watching Toby as Karen and her father went out. She got on better with Karen now, mainly because she didn't moan as much. They weren't at the 'let's go for a girls day out' stage yet but it was better than before.

This Friday though was different though, it was usually the day Owl Jareth came and watched her as she sat at her desk an either A) 'Studied', B) Doodled or C) Wrote about creatures she'd met in the Labyrinth and the others she kept into contact with. Tonight it was a mixture of Doodling and writing as the familiar white owl flew onto the branch outside her window, his usual _scree_ losing the fight against the howl of the wind. He was making her feel bad now. No matter who it was, she wouldn't wish staying out in that weather to anyone, even Jareth. Not that she was going to let him in though.

"Don't you have a Kingdom to run?" she asked after fifteen minutes of the owl sitting there as the rain got worse. She had to hand it to him, he was taking the weather well. Though knowing him he was probably using some sort of spell to keep himself dry. Which he was kinda, not that he wanted her to know that, it would ruin his plan.

He ruffled his feathers and gave out another scree that this time didn't get lost in the wind. Sarah was convinced that he was saying, "And your point is?" Sighing Sarah looked back down to her paper.

"Figures."

Sarah flinched as another howl of wind blew against the house, and the rain sounded as if it was going to break the glass with the force of it. It was like mother-nature had taken a watery hissy fit.

"I can't let you in." She said, not looking up but more saying it to convince herself than to tell him. "Karen and Dad think I'm crazy enough. What will they think if they find me with an owl in my room?" Which was true enough. Karen caught Sarah once talking to Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Diymus in her mirror and now talked to Sarah more often, thinking she was talking to herself because she had no friends. Sarah didn't leave her door unlocked anymore.

It was then that Sarah made a grave mistake.

She looked up and straight into Jareth's trap.

See, Jareth has lived a long time, longer than he'd like to admit and in this time he perfected certain ways of deception, including ''Puppy Dog Eyes". Or in his case "Owl Eyes" which are very different, at least in Sarah's point of view.

"That doesn't work on me." Though even she could tell that was a lie, at least just now it was. Sarah sighed and looked back down at her 'work' trying to ignore him, hoping he would go away.

"You stole my little brother, sent the Cleaners after me, tried to drop me in the Bog of Eternal Stench, gave me a drugged peach and sent the entire Goblin Army after me and you expect me to let you in because there a storm outside and you give me "Owl Eyes?"" she asked, looking up again, her determination slipping. Damn Jareth.

Next thing she knew the white owl was sitting on her desk and she was drying him with a towel, the owl practically glowing with smugness.

"This is only until the rain stops." Sarah mumbled moving the owl over to the left hand side of her desk and leaving it sitting on the towel as she went back to 'work' as Toby slept soundly in the other room.

But Owl Jareth didn't care, he'd won this round.

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**For later posts. Some of the chapters will take place as part of the timeline where others will be conducted as interviews or tv shows or on a rift between two dimentions. Also some crossovers may be done. **

**Any skits or crossovers you want to see?**


	2. Jareth vs Computers

Jareth glared icily at the mocking monitor, the machine taunting him, speaking an arcane language only young humans seemed to understand.

Running a gloved hand through his hair – not making any difference seeing as this was the hundredth time he'd done it – he controlled his anger, knowing from experience that his magic was of no use here. Theses confounded machines didn't take to them well. It was because of him that Sarah ended up having to make up an a amazing excuse – that involved the previous computer exploding and Sarah barely escaping with her life- that her parents believed. Those hours acting with Merlin in the park paid off.

Leading her to get a new one, and Jareth knew that she would not appreciate having to trick her father and step-mother into another computer.

Curse the day that he decided to learn human "magic" as Sarah called it.

Still, he refused to call Sarah for help. He'd already lost to her once and wouldn't admit defeat again. It was unthinkable for a King to admit defeat once, but twice! Never.

Growling angrily, Jareth slammed a fist down onto the computer table, searching the keyboard for what the computer was asking for.

"There is no confounded "any" key on this thing!" he exclaimed causing Sarah to poke her head into the room Jareth occupied. Frowning at the angry Goblin King she walked over to him and read the screen from behind. Shrugging she leaned over him and clicked the F key, starting the computer up.

Turning in confusion Jareth saw Sarah standing behind him, holding a mug of something, looking at the screen rather happily and calmly.

"What did you do?" he asked, trying to make it sound normal, not like he'd been trying to figure it out for the past half and hour.

Sarah looked at Jareth in confusion. Did he really not know what to do?

"I pressed a random key on the bored. It did say to "press any key", when it says that it just means press anything on the keyboard." Sarah stated before sitting down beside him, knowing he'd need more help later.

After five minutes of silence and waiting for the computer to boot up, Jareth finally spoke.

"Is there any chance you could _not_ tell everything one about this?" he asked, rather quietly, knowing the answer. Sarah laughed, turning to him.

"Not evena little."

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**A/N: Short, I know, and not what I said but still... I couldn't resist _not_ putting this up. Anyone who has delt with hopeless reletives or friends on a computer will get this. Also people who have made this mistake with a computer.**


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